If you’ve been trying to conceive for a while you probably already know that infertility can wreak complete and utter havoc on your sex life. When you’ve spent months or even years obsessively charting your BBT, checking cervical mucus, injecting yourself with insanity-inducing drugs, pinpointing the exact microsecond of ovulation, making your husband “save it up” for days on end and having sex on a rigid schedule, it can be difficult to initiate or enjoy spontaneous sex. Trust me, I speak from experience. Most couples go through ups and downs in their sex life, but when you’re trying to conceive, it can make the downs much, much harder to recover from.
In my experience, one of the best ways to spark things up is to take a little trip. There is something very magical (and sexy) about getting out of your house. When you’re home there’s always something to do or somewhere to go. By leaving your normal environment, you eliminate all the “have to’s” which frees you up to do nothing.
For your trip I recommend buying something new to wear to bed. It can be really sexy or just really cute but try and get something a little out of the box for you and make it a surprise for your partner. This will definitely enhance the magic of your getaway and get you in what I call “spontaneous sex mode.” At the hotel, you can take a bubble bath together, order snacks and champagne from room service, get massages. Do things to pamper and relax yourselves so you can unwind and can enjoy the weekend. And whatever you do,…DO NOT TALK ABOUT BABY STUFF. That is a surefire way to kill the magic of the weekend. Try to let it go for just a day or two – there will be plenty of time for that when you get back home.
If your budget is a little tight these days you can still get away. Consider a one night trip up to the mountains or to the beach if it’s within driving distance. Or, you could book a night at a hotel in your own town. Maybe you have a friend with a cabin or a beach condo who would be willing to let you stay free for a night. Be creative – it doesn’t have to be an entire weekend or a five-star fancy destination to have an impact on your sex life.
If you’re feeling like your sex life during infertility is in the dumps or perhaps even non-existent, understand that you’re not alone. It’s normal and common to become disconnected from your body and from sex when you’re struggling to conceive. Take charge and create change with my weekend getaway idea. The magic of the weekend has a way of following you home. When you get back, be sure to let us know how it went. 